I wanted to go on vacation to reset, to disturb my routine, to remind myself of the multiplicities of possibility, to disconnect, to disassociate from what I know. To stop, to pause, cease from the grind, be away from my phone. I got all the benefits of everything listed above but not in the way that I expected it, and it happened in 1/4 of the time. What’s the secret? .

. . Deportation.

Well it started with going to Cancun with a friend for 4 days at an all inclusive, luxury resort on Caribbean waters. The night before we left he told me he upgraded to a fancier hotel with decadent restaurants and complete with dolphin in the pool as an early birthday present.

We boarded the plane with excitement and well researched on the night life downtown. We watched Marvel’s Doctor Strange and Mad Max on the ride over. We landed and at immigration we presented our passports; my friend went through. The officer took my passport to second interviews and came back, had me fill out another form and took me to second interviews. I went and sat for 30 minutes and they called me over and said they could not accept my passport. About 8 years ago I had my passport in a bag with almond oil that I used at the time to make beard and mustache oil when I was going through my twisty mustache Parisian phase. The bottle broke and soaked my passport. USA accepted it but Mexico did not. They said I would be deported back to Seattle on the next Alaska flight there, which was the following day at 4PM. I asked if I could call my friend to let him know he should go ahead to the hotel but we only got one call and that would be 3 hours later, so my friend wondered what would happen to me.

The next 23 hours were spent in a room with 30-40 other people being deported back to their countries- all central and South America except for me. The lights were bright and you couldn’t see outside. There were multiple of families with children. It was raw human authentic emotion. I felt my heart sink into my guts and light headed. I felt the churning of questions and hopes swirling my thoughts. I saw men grow angry and chants develop about the Mexican government. I saw a single mother of two break down in tears. I saw an old couple. I saw people my age. I saw Mexican military arrive when the chanting and banging on windows got too much . . . And . . . I saw community form over the course of one day. Our phones were taken, I saw people offering things to each other, I saw kids playing soccer with a water bottle or grabbing stinky tarp covered pads and makes slides out of them or forts. I met one of the few people in the room who spoke English tell his story of trying to get to Mexico from Columbia for better jobs. His work visa was rejected. He told me stories of families trying to travel North for better work and quality of life, or get to the States. He told me the astronomical prices of Visas, passports and planes and the added difficulty of deportation. Some families sell much of their belongings only to be deported back to the places of origin.

What was 23 hours felt like 3 days and constant noise of kids running around or a newbys coming in, but time was marked by meals. Each airline was in charge of providing food for each person- I was the only one with Alaska and always last and so everyone knew who the Gringo was.

The experience was a lot of things but also a practice in perspective, mindset, and present ness. I brought 3 books with me. The first one I opened was on Reiki and magically it opened to the principles of Reiki.

Just for today,

I will have an attitude of gratitude

Just for today,

I will not worry

Just for today,

I will not anger

Just for today,

I will do my work honestly

Just for today,

I will love and respect every living thing.

Those principles could not have been more applicable, I found myself repeating them as mantras and bringing myself back to the present moment instead of the hole of worry, playing into fear, and loathing.

I was reminded of the practice in yoga after each session that says

Place both hands in the prayer position on your chest and feel the rise and fall of your heart reminding you have the power to love, and bring a smile to your lips reminding you to have a positive attitude.

I was reminded of my capacity to choose, my capacity to craft my own experience, my capacity to craft a worldview. And I saw an example of how to do it.

Fado was an Argentinian man my age, and an advocate for me when officers would come or when arguments would escalate and he would explain what was going on. He was also so kind and connective with everyone! Playing soccer with the kids, or the kids were fascinated with his tattoos so he would talk about them. One dad came and asked if he could draw a tattoo on his son and it made his day. He carried with him so much joy and connection despite the circumstances.

We are vehicles of change and choose with our actions and perspectives. We can choose gratitude, choose not to worry, choose to lead with love, and choose to alchemize experiences toward our highest good.