I’ve lost friends to this election and I am someone who currently does not want to speak up. Conversations lately immediately escalate into debate. They are rooted in strongly felt beliefs and experiences. We have an opportunity to vote for a lot of different reasons; a conviction, a lifestyle, life itself, a stance on social justice, a way of being in the world, a way our of a pandemic, or any number of “fill in the blanks.”

But what we’ve really done is dehumanizing!

We have said someone else is different than us and; they must pay, or they must be stupid, or they must be sheltered, or they must lack in empathy, or they must be ignorant, or they must act with violence… We have created a chasm of separation between ourselves and the “other.” It is a Modern Day Civil War in the United States. A term that seems laughable by it silly combination of word, United States, there is nothing united about them or us or the individual. Civil War is not a question of if or when, it is already happening, it is already going on. The question is how bad will it have to get until we realize we are all humans again, how many more deaths, divisive rhetoric, or isolation, before we really know what Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness means.

I can not in good conscious be apart of the bipartisan party system. It is selfish of me, I know, but I don’t think the world’s problems can be solved in one person, and I think it foolish to put that much faith and trust. We live in a fallen world. I’ve lost faith in the future. I’ve lost faith in the democratic system.

I do believe the answers lie within, with conviction and actions for the greater good, and coming together for that greater good. It is not separate from our own selves. It is seeing humans as humans as connected to us, but until that happens I’ve lost hope for this thing called USA which I happen to be a a current and lifelong citizen of. I’ve been advised that I have a sacred democratic privilege’s to vote; to choose one or the other ; either you are left or you are right, either you are Christian or not, either you are an ally or you are homophobic, either you are educated or ignorant. The current state of affairs says you fit in either one box or the other. I can’t and won’t believe that that encompasses all of the gamete of human experiences. My experience and the experiences of anyone who I have known on a deep level doesn’t fit in this messed up binary.

So I choose cowardice, I choose asking questions, I choose being slow to speak, I choose halting judgement, I choose life outside boxes, in rebellion, and trying to really and truly see people for the complexities that make ourselves up.