Knocking over speakers during entrances.

pants falling down at the most perfect timing,

wobbly harpsichord legs,

15 passenger van being towed out of grass by an opera singing elementary school choir director with her friend Jorge,

Maniacal laughing,

Craving Mexican always,

Innumerable smiling faces

And personal growth

-Some highlight of 2019 NOISE tour

There are certain experiences in life that allow me to “level up” in a sense.  Doing Count Almaviva in Northwest Opera in School, etc’s production of Barber of Seville: the Shaving Scene by Giacomo Rossini was one such experience.

Often times the world of opera immediately fills me up with stress and anxiety because of my own University experience, academic singing, and the seemingly cutthroat-ness of the industry.  The overwhelming perfectionism and constantly not feeling enough. All of this festering fear, pretenses, and insecurities seemed to boil to the surface as days approached the first blocking rehearsal and manifested in dreams about performances or jitters or probably resulted me in being very sick and almost losing my voice. During the blocking week I got extremely sick and barely had a voice, so I had to confront my trying to be something that I wasn’t and do my best just to do the job at hand.  This broke down some much needed walls, wall of pretending and controlling people’s perception of me.

Once the tour started I was also the Day Manager which meant driving to performances for the 50-show month of March (despite three days).  And with each performance I loosened up, and my insecurities melted away. And the cast who most of which felt in some ways insecurities with opera industry and would talk about experiences and the industry.  We would talk about artistic ideas and reminisce in moments of the tour and create a small community and culture of our own.

 

So this “leveling up” I think just consists of facing a fear and insecurity and growing beyond and throw it.  Often when I hit one of these opportunities and I have to commit early on so that I don’t bail out as soon as I feel incapable or inadequate.  Doing the tour has given me a new love for classical music, shown me that it can be fun, engaging, and meaning to a diverse audience from elementary schools to retirement homes. It also reaffirmed that what is important for fulfillment is people- is relationship- is connection because we are in the journey together!

 

With much Gratitude and hope for new opportunities to “level up,”